still here

The last couple months have been tough
Grit your teeth and keep going months
my job was eliminated During layoffs at the end of march
They graciously let me take another position
But it was a big step down financially
Learning a new job
Working swingshift
Change change change
leaning into the chaos
We all kept going
At one point came a day i didnt want to get out of bed
Really didnt want to
But i heard ode singing in the hall
Told myself
Ive got to pull out of this nosedive
So we started going to the arboretum
And walking
Exercise is a good antidepressant
So are trees..the ancient counselors
And beauty
Kept going
cam got his dream job hurray!
This was a huge brightspot
And then he moved out
Miss him
I applied for another job
And have been interviewinng
Preparing
Interviewing
Still learning the swingshift job
Killing of the voices in my head that said im over 40 - Not so marketable anymore
Told them to shut it!!
Waiting waiting
Then yesterday
deep breath
I found out i got the even newer JOB
Its a step up from the one i lost
Hurray!
Chris has been a rock for me
Through It all
Keeping me from coming unhinged
Making me surprise gardens to fill
And work out my frustrations w my hands in  The dirt
And we're still here
The garden
An anchor

For our unruly lives