the lesson

you never know until you know
okay
so i thought of something i learned/gained out of the whole accident business
its more of a new awareness or empathy i have gained
which
it seems like many of the rough things ive gone through
appear to be for no purpose other than to build my empathy toolbox
which in turn helps me to judge people less (sort of)
i used to kind of roll my eyes at people who were on the neurotic side
fear filled, nail biters
i used to think they just needed to buck up, put on their big girl panties
and move on
after a year of attempting such an approach with sometimes disasterous consequences
i have learned to indulge myself a wee bit
i do the best i can
and make tweaks where needed
i am no longer fearless
and i am no longer fear FULL
but i have been to both places
nice to visit
hate to LIVE there
anyways
i have a new appreciation for peoples fears
and no longer think they're weenies
you DONT KNOW.. until you have truly been in their shoes
its easy to roll our eyes and dismiss someone
its easy to make a snap comment about what someone SHOULD do
but
UNTIL you've lived it
you should keep your mouth shut
sometimes the fact that they are outside the house
took a lot of bravery
i get it

it seems like the older i get
the more i UNlearn
and the more i see;
that most of my black or white ... early opinions
were sooo flip, or cocky,
so IMMATURE
and sooo ignorant

the more i learn
that
i dont know much

unfortunately this takes a lot of steam out of my a55kicker speech that i give myself
when i need to overcome some huge obstacle

guess i need to come up with a new speech

hm